13

Segundo día de ayuno, despues de haber tirado el otro a la basura. Me muero por un muffino unas donnas. Espero que ya se me pase luego el hambre o si no me voy a tirar como condenada al refrigerador y ya me duele demasiado la garganta. Prentendo seguir con mi ayuno por lo menos una semana, pero adivinen que... SI! navidad.
Aunque mis padres saben que no como carnes, me prepararan ensaladas y... yo quiero mantenerme limpia por mi semana. Creo que este mes será un poco dificil.
No tengo ganas de hacer nada. Lo quiero de vuelta.

hell

.*Eating Disorder Survey*.

General
Age?: 14
Height?: 1.56
Weight?: 50
Lowest Weight?: 48
Highest Weight?: 58
What weight do you want to weigh?: 40
What eating disorder do you have?: Bulimia
In Depth
How many calories do you eat in a day, on average?: i dont fucking know
Do you throw up your food on occasion?: uuf, ever
Do you want to look like a supermodel/actress?: ok, a scene queen... a model
Are you in some sort of extracurricular sport, ie soccer or track?: nono
Has anyone ever teased you about your weight?: yeah... my family
Have you ever fasted? If so, for how long?: yeah, 1 week i think
Do you take laxatives to get rid of food/calories?: yeah, sometimes
Are you 'inspired' by models/actresses?: hmm yes
Have you ever been hospitalised for your ED?: no, never
Have you ever ingested Ipecac to induce vomiting?: no, never
Have you ever tried to recover from your eating disorder?: yeah... but i can't
Body Image Q's
Do you constantly see yourself as fat, even though others say you are not?: hell, YEAH
What part of your body would you change?: everything
On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you with your body?: 1
Do you judge your value/merit solely on your weight/body?: yeah
Because of your body apperance/weight, have you become severely depressed?: no, i think :s
Do you constantly compare your bodies to supermodels/actresses?: yes
Health/Food
Do you think you eat healthy enough?: no
Are you morbidly afraid to eat carbs?: yeeah
Fat grams?: too
Calories?: too shet
Are you often tired/fatigued?: sometimes u.u
Do you feel more energised after eating food?: i fell... wrong:S
Do you eat meat?: no :3
Do you eat your food in a certain way? ie cut it up into small pieces, etc.: no
Do people tell you you look sick or famished?: ok, not ever... but yes
Have you ever thrown up blood?: no
Is your heart bpm above 49?: i dont know... i think i dont have heart
Do you have fainting spells from lack of eating?: yes
Other Stuff
Do you think the media is at fault for the prevalence of eating disorders?: no.
What's your opinion of Pro-Ana?: I disagree. not as I would have liked to know that someone had been there for me decrime not into this. however these things do the opposite
Do you have any other mental disorders? ie Bipolar, BDD, etc.: yes
What's your favourite food to eat?: i tjink... nothing.
Favourite drink?: ams, juice? but i like alcohol
Do you often wish you didn't have an ED?: ... yes
Do you want to recover?: obvious

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12

Si, aun con vida, por desgracia.

{Tres días de ayuno se fueron a la mierda por mi poca fuerza de voluntad}

11

Huelo a vómito. Las pastillas me hacen efecto. Espero no quedarme dormida en la ducha. Gracias por irte cuando más te necesito. ¿Nunca supiste que tenía bulimia? Ahora lo sabes.